We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
