So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
