"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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