I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
