You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
