the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
