trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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