I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
