For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
