this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
