Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize