The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
This girl is more easily done than said...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
