I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ketchup is God's man juice
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He did a backflip because drugs
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