I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
