I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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