I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
