Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
