You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
