That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
