Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
