i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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