i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
