I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
