i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
