I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Randomize
