We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
