it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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