But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
