she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize