he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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