I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
