John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
