he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
