we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
