That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
