only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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