Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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