i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
