He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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