She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
