Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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