Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
