Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
sarcasm needs its own font
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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