But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
