In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
