got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
