i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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