Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I love having hate sex.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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