My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
