it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
