it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
