Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
