Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
