I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
