afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
