oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
