Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
