Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize