the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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