god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize